Tuesday, January 22, 2008

We got a Wii!!!

I am not sure what got into Mom & Dad's heads, but something made them get up butt ass early on a cold Sunday morning and drag themselves to Circuit Shitty to get us as Wii. I stayed home, where it was warm and the thread count was high. Me, personally, I could live without one, but I do have to say that its nice to have around. I don't have to rely on chasing squirls or Jada to get my exercise. And that right there is really nice in the winter time when its cold, windy or rainy. I hate going outside when its muddy, then I get shit all over my feet when I am walking around.

The games are cool, but they certainly seem to have cut into the lets hang out and scratch the dog time. Wii Sports is cool, but it is kind of hard to play without opposable thumbs. Same thing with Tiger Woods 2008, although owner seemed very relaxed having gotten to play 18 yesterday as well as a couple of sets of tennis. Its a real tough country club life he's living. And people think I have it easy. No way am I getting to play golf and tennis all day long. Then mom comes home and plays Super Mario this and Super Mario that all evening long. Again, tough life. Not like she has to sit at a window all day trying to figure out novel approached to picking up shitzu's or how to foil scheming pugs. There must be 4 or 6 pugs in within a block, and all they do is try and break in to steal my stash of sum dum cat.

The one game that I did find on the Wii that I can play, because it doesn't depend on my ability to hold things in each hand and manipulate the buttons and controllers was Dance Dance Revolution. I picked it up pretty easily and dad says that I have some built in advantages. So having 4 legs is good. I can outplay anyone at DDR and I don't slip on the ice as much as some other people. Any way, here is a picture of me after busting a serious move at DDR! Perfect score! Lets see you two legged people types score like that on maximum difficulty.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Don't Eat the Yellow Snow

Trust me when I tell you this. I know where that stuff comes from. You don't want to eat it. Quite frankly, I have to question the intelligence or sanity of anyone who is even contemplating eating the yellow snow. And you shouldn't have to be told by your mother not to eat the yellow snow. Some things are just plain common sense. Although, I guess some kids get the "I have an honor student ..." bumper sticker and others get the "I have a wonderful kid ..." bumper sticker. I told you all a long time ago, that its the kid who gets the "I have a wonderful kid ..." bumper sticker that I am most afraid of. Because the common sense is just lacking for the "I have a wonderful kid ..." bumper sticker kid. 2nd grade just isn't that hard. I spent my elementary school years peeing on trees and chasing grounds keepers at Georgetown Pup. Yet, some place, someone is driving my mom's old Audi with an "I have an honor student at Georgetown Pup" bumper sticker on the back. It finally snowed here. I love the snow. I can't tell you why, but when it snows, something just sets me off. Even though its cold and I am not wearing very much, I love being outside when its snowing. Something makes me just want to run wild. It was funny to watch the owner slip and slide on the ice. Now I understand why he drives an SUV. 2 legs good, 4 legs better. Of course I did figure out that I can run wild inside where it is nice, warm and toasty. Not to mention, I wouldn't want the owner to forget that he owes me a treat off the end of the counter. So lets hurry up and go inside, its cold.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Living the Rich Life

Ok, I still don't like scotch, much to my owners chagrin, but a pint of Guiness still goes really well with a nice medium boddied cigar. I was kind of surprised, I don't usually hang out with him and his friends when they are drinking scotch and smoking cigars, but since I expressed some interest in the cigar he was smoking, he whipped one out for me. He said it was a milder, softer smoke that I might like. Knowing how much I like Guiness, he offered me a puppy pint to go with the smoke. I must say, I enjoyed the crunchy, fuzzy character of the cigar.

I certainly think that this can only enhance my reputation as an international puppy dog of mystery. I will need to see if I can find a store that takes my American Express card so that I can get myself a Hugh Hefner style smoking jacket. Ahh the good life. One lesson for everyone, avoid the wrong end of the cigar. Its not real tasty.

I wonder how this would go with a nice plate of sum dum cat and a side of Cinnabones in lobster sauce. Ya know, all this talk of food, drink and good life has me thinking that I should probably go out and get some lunch. There are some nice places to eat near the Williams Sonoma in Clarendon. The choices are endless. There are several Irish pubs who serve Guiness stew, one of my favorites. Just about anything with beef in it is a favorite. There's Indian, pizza, Mexican, Chineese, Italian, BBQ, wings ... Actually I think I will go for a walk down to my favorite BBQ joint, Rocklands for some ribs and onion rings. Yep, time to go, bye.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Trophy Time!

It finally came back from the taxidermist! I was really excited last night when the FedEx guy knocked on the door. Of course being the good home security expert that I am, I was the first person to the door. I was barking rabidly and as ferociously as possibly. Surely anyone on the other side of the door would have been scared off, had they not been here on official biddiness. I could hardly contain myself once I saw that it was FedEx guy. The owner insisted that it couldn't possibly be for me, but then again, he didn't know that I was expecting a package. You should have seen the look on his face after he signed for the package and handed it over to me, with an air bill that had my name on it! Mom helped me open the package and unwrap the carefully wrapped trophy. The fruits of my first class loofa hunting trip last month.

I must admit, I was really pleased with the workmanship. This thing looks great, the picture just doesn't do justice to the majestic, giant, rare, blue loofa of Arlington or the handiwork of the taxidermist. I am not sure where we're going to hang it, but I was thinking that someplace in the living room would be ideal. It's the perfect conversation piece at parties and other social gatherings, not to mention when I have bitches over. They can't help but be impressed with my skill as a loofa hunter. The giant, rare, blue loofa can only be caught in the wild, unlike the more common green or light blue loofa which can be found at PetSmarts nearly anywhere.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Help A Puppy Out

Ok, so I need some ideas for a new poll. We already know that bitches like it from behind and that I am better looking than Vinny Chase from HBO's Entorage. So how about some ideas, feel free to post them here.