Monday, October 8, 2007

It had to happen sooner or later

Well, it finally happened. It was bound to happen sooner or later and at last, I got caught sleeping on the job. The owners went out last night for a couple of hours. Really? Who goes out late on a Sunday night, in the middle of NBCs, pathetic coverage of the Packers game? It’s not like they were going to someone's house to watch the Giants game, which they won, and played at 1PM. So here I am getting all comfortable, snuggling into my owners spot on the bed when they start getting dressed. I am thinking to myself, sure I know you don't like when I sleep on your spot and make the pillows smell like popcorn, but that’s no reason to leave.

Anyway, I made a few booty calls, but I couldn't get Jada, Shi-wa the shih-tzu or the Yorkie sisters to come over. I think I prolly coulda gotten some had I gone over to the Yorkie sisters place, but I really wasn't in the mood to go out. I really wanted to sit home with a container of Cinna-bones and watch reruns of the AKC Westminster Dog Show on USA Network. So, I did what all dogs do when left to their own devices. I licked myself for a while and took a nap. I knew all the doors were locked, so there wasn't much chance of Jada coming by to steal the Calphalon Wok for cooking Sum Dum Cat.

As I lay sprawled out, in my owners spot on the bed, dreaming of Cinna-bones jumping over a fence, I started hearing a little voice saying that I fucked up. The voice was right. Damn right I fucked up, I should have been counting Filet Squares jumping over the fence. They taste damn good, better than Cinna-bones that’s for sure. Anyway the voice is getting louder and all of a sudden the lights in the bedroom come on. WTF!!! I was sleeping. There is there owner, standing there looking at me like he caught me doing something that I shouldn't have been doing. I guess technically there is a clause in my contract that requires me to stay awake on the job, but they have never really enforced it. Anyway, I was slightly dazed, but I composed myself and went downstairs for my evening walk, I didn't put up much of a fight like I usually do, especially since its still warm out. There is nothing worse than trying to drop a dookie on a snow bank when the wind is howling and its 14° outside. So I do my biddness outside and return home for a treat. I was hoping the owners had forgotten about the sleeping thing, but they didn't. All I got for late night treats were a couple of lousy Dyna-bones and then lights out.

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