Thursday, November 8, 2007

Cougars : Not Just Cats & Old Broads

So last night after the owner got home, we went for a walk, and I guess he wasn't satisfied with my progress. What can I say, when you gotta go, you gotta go. And when you don't you don't. So in an effort to help nature along, he decides to take me for a long walk, several streets over from my 'hood. I am a little unsure of where things are going, its an older area and I was a tad bit uncomfortable, especially since the wind was howling. You try and take care of biddness when there is a 30 MPH cross wind blowing across your junk. Anyway, no sooner than I start getting the urge to mark some territory, out comes this old broad with her old German Shepard. Of course, the owner stops so that we can get acquainted. Because he thinks that I like all bitches. This bitch was like twice my height and had to have 40 lbs on me. Not to mention being twice my age. I don't dig old broads, all they want is some young stud, and that’s definitely me, STUD! So while the owner makes idle chit chat, while he waits for me to knock one off, I am running for my life. This old bitch keeps presenting me for. Of course I am flattered, but the last thing I need is a ride that has to lower itself like a bus picking up an old lady on the corner. She kept trying to back up under me, that’s some sight, lemme tell you. I felt like I was starring in Master P and the Cougar of Doom with Harrison Ford. Eventually, the owner decided that I must have been done by now and we went on our way. Thank god. Shortly there after, when I couldn't hold it anymore, I did my biddness and we headed home. Of course we ran into someone else walking a dog. This guy had a 10-year-old sheltie. And once again, she was digging me, I tried to pull on the leash to get my owner to skip this encounter, but he wasn't having it. He gets all proud when I do my big, tough dog, stud routine so we had to stop and talk. Mabel the sheltie actually tried to give me hummer right there in the middle of the street. I eventually growled at her and the owner took that as a hint that I was getting pissed off and wanted to go home. This other neighborhood is defiantly not for me. It was like the Running of the Cougars, and I was obviously the guest of honor. I need to chat with the owner and let him know I was not digging the walk we took last night.

I think I will perhaps go pay the Yorkie sisters a visit this afternoon and then lie on my side watching Hogan's Heroes reruns while dreaming of a world filled with Filet Squares.

No comments: