Friday, November 2, 2007

Meet My Crew

G-Money, Chubby and Ducky in the VIP room at Pure in Las Vegas.

G-Money is the quiet one, but you always gotta watch out for the quiet ones. G-Money got kicked out of school for boozing naked with the dean's daughter and her roomate. What can you say? My man has game, but no common sense. Getting your nude on in the football stadium is neither smart nor original. The cops patrol every hour and it’s hard to miss a naked giraffe and 2 coeds passed out on the 50 yard line. That was pretty much a game over situation for G-Money. After school G-Money hung out in the old neighborhood, mostly doing odd jobs and tax preparation in the spring while avoiding getting into trouble. What do expect for a guy who was 15 credits short of an Accounting degree from Yale. Not what you would expect from the Grand Puba of Skull & Bones. Fortunately, I got home from AC Milan in the nick of time to take care of him. Now he drives the car and mostly keeps his mouth shut. Or perhaps he's just quiet, most accounting majors were.

Chubby is the trouble maker of the bunch. Chubby played offensive line at Rutgers where he had a scholarship and studied chemistry. All he ever did was blow the roof of the chem lab his sophomore year. Fortunately, the dean's board of review found that it was just an accident and more likely a result of poor supervision on the part of the TA. The TA got axed and Chubby kept his mouth shut. I know better, dude was always reading ahead and what not. So I am sure he was more culpable than he let on, but anything is better than getting spanked with a $94,000 damage tab. How the hell do you explain that to mom and dad? No way, get your ass to McDonalds and start flipping burgers with Parent of the Year nominee, Kevin Federline. Now Chubby sticks to mixing drinks and occasionally throwing M-80s at the neighborhood squirrels. Occasionally the guy does get out of hand and I just have to chew on his head and toss him around the living room, especially when I can't find my IQube & squeaky balls.

Ducky is a strange dude. He turned down swimming scholarships to every major college program. He probably could have gone to the Olympics had it not been for an unfortunate incident involving one of Chubby's concoctions and some banned stimulants. He choose to go to perennial top 10 party school Slippery Rock. He ended up with a degree in Animal Husbandry. Like that was much of a challenge for him. Rumor has it that he is running the best genetics lab on the east coast, but he never seems to answer the question when I put it to him. I am going to see if I can catch him testifying as an expert witness at OJ's next trial. Anyway, when he is around, he's a yes man. I can always count on him wanting to do what ever I want to do, whenever I wanna do it. He's usually egging me on to take him over to the Yorkie sister's house, since they have nice new plush platypus squeaky toy that he wants to get funky with.

So there it is, this is my posse. These are the squeaky toys that I grew up with and spend most of my time with.

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