The holiday season always kicks off with the owners birthday. Knowing that I was on the hook for a gift, I whipped out my Metro card, not that it ever gets swiped. For some reason, Metro doesn't make any allowances for someone who is zero foot nine to swipe a Metro card, so I still have my starting $20 on the card. Anyway I decided to head over to the Barnes & Noble in Clarendon. Its right next to the Williams Sonoma with the good samples, so I stopped in, sampled some sweet and sour grilled beef. The guy there was trying to sell me some sort of indoor grill. I wasn't really interested. A lot of people might be, because they live in apartments, but we have a house and have a grill outside, and the owner isn't shy about firing it up in any weather conditions, to cook some steak, so I told the guy that I would pass, but I did pick up some of that beef marinate and I had a some of that peppermint bark that they sell at this time of year. Then I headed over to the Barnes & Noble to get dad Michael Jackson's Complete Guide to Single Malt Scotch. I figure he will like this book. The man can drink scotch like I crunch Cinnabones.
After picking up the book, I headed back to the Metro. Of course I stopped in at Williams Sonoma for some more of that grilled beef, but the bitchy queen of a dude was running the grill and I only got one piece from him, even though I was already carrying a Williams Sonoma bag. You would think you get some courtesy from these people when you spend money in their store, but this guy just doesn't like me. He must not like straight dogs. Anyway I caught the metro home, I really need to get a car and drivers license. I gave the outside perimeter a once over and headed inside to wrap dads gift, which is no small task when you don't have opposable thumbs. You have to be vigilent, when there is a bitch like Jada living right next door. That crazy bitch is always up something. She's always running some kind of caper, there are always people coming and going. Its that kind of traffic that makes it really hard on a watch dog like me.
Dad did pretty well for his birthday, he got some cigar stuff that he was raving about loving as well as some smokes that he seemed to like. Cigars aren't my thing, but the old man loves cigars and scotch like I like filet squares and cheese burgers. The thing that I liked was his new velvet sports coat from Ralph Lauren. Its a nice coat, a really nice coat, it might even be nicer than my coat. Anyway, he will look good when he takes me out in Georgetown to meet snooty bitches. We'll have to get him out and about to show the thing off. Perhaps I should asked for a new coat. A velvet dog coat or perhaps a velvet smoking jacket. I wanna look like Hugh Hefner, since I already have more hotter bitches than he does. Gotta love what Viagra does for the guy!
I love the holidays, the Yorkie Sisters are always in good spirits, although they were away this weekend, so I hung with my crew and of course the family. After a 4 day weekend, I am pretty tired, but I did want to write a little and remind everyone what I might like for Hanukkah. This year I took a new approach, I posted my list on MyGiftList.com. I am looking for the usual stuff, a bitches love me shirt, some treats and a phat new pad. Actually, I have a pretty nice pad, but I was amazed at what people will spend money on. PT Barnum was right. Now I just need to find an angle and start up a dot puppy dog and see if I can make a few million bucks.
So anyway, that’s it, that’s what going on. If your looking for me, I turned the ringer on my phone off and will be spending the day in bed catching up, because I only got about 12 hours of sleep a day this weekend, its far less than usual.
Christ, I can't believe I said that. Ryan Seapest is such a tool bag.